Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
