I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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