My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
