I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
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