its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My dick has a subreddit
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
