Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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