Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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