he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i need some magic done to my vagina
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
