You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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