I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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