im about as happy as oj after his trial
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize