I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
