I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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