Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
