she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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