Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
