Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize