Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
