covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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