just tell him i said nine months
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
