hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
