So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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