Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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