We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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