dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
