omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
