Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
