Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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