I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
