I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
PANTIES FOUND
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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