Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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