he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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