my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
bring money and cleavage
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
