What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize