I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
