matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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