i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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