So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
