It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
