i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my shit smells like andre
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
