Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
