Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
