I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
