Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
