those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she told me i tasted like america
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize