u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
