oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
