You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
