he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
