ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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