More tranny stories later!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
