I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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