put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
