Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
