I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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