i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
