Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
