i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
