i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
