capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
